Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hump Day List

Below is a list that I saw on someone else's blog. I've shortened the list to include ones that I think are particularly funny or soooo true. Before I get to the list I want to add a couple of things (so a list before the list):

(1) Happy Birthday Suz! I won't post a number but just say that I hope you have a great one!

(2) Thanks to all the people who are trying to tempt me out to Lubbock this weekend. Trying to talk me into a trip to the Hub City on a game weekend is like trying to talk an alcoholic into a trip to the bar, BUT I have no tickets to the game; no place to stay; and low cash flow thanks to my trip to Canton and an upcoming trip to NC, SC and GA.

(3) My SATC Saturday post is going to be so full of info this week, and I can't wait to share with you. I only hope blogger will decide to get its act together before then and let me embed some videos! Blasted thing!!!

Now for "The List":

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet someone new, I'm terrified of mentioning something they haven't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

Happy Wednesday!!!!

4 comments:

courtney said...

Um, I have 2 extra tickets AND a guest room.

I know, I know....we've never met in "real" life. But, Robin knows you in "real" life and I know her in "real" life so we're basically like family.

Plus, it would give you an excuse to wear all of your Tech goodies from Canton! :)

courtney said...

btw, i loved "the list"! i found myself nodding my head quite a bit!

The Cooper Family said...

Thanks for the shout-out!

Loved the list....I am cracking up.

laterg8r said...

very great list :D

 

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