I love you more than I can say. You are the BEST dog in the world. I'd do anything for you, but I think it's time for a little quid pro quo.
A little explanation: You bark viciously every time a UPS truck drives down the road or a kid walks down the sidewalk. You hear a squirrel pass gas from 3 houses away and go into high terror alert mode. You act like you want to tear every workman to shreds, and let's not even talk about your loathing of children.
But where are you when something really serious happens? Over the past 5 years, we've endured more than our fair share crap....
Exhibit 1: Some kids pulled my brick mailbox over in the middle of the night. A Neighbor said it sounded like a bomb going off. You didn't make a peep until the police were ringing our doorbell at 3 a.m.
Exhibit 2: Some kids vandalized my house with eggs, chocolate syrup, toilet paper, and cans of corn & carrots. Again, you didn't make a sound. I had to discover the mess when I backed out of the garage on the way to court the next morning.
Exhibit 3: This morning, I went out to water the flowers and discovered that someone had ran into my mailbox. There wasn't a ton of damage, but it was moved over and now sets kind of cockeyed. You failed to alert me to this as well.
All I'm asking is that you not only alert me to the UPS truck so arrogantly driving down "your street", but you also alert me to people who are destroying my property.