Monday, June 15, 2009

SPQ

SQP? What does that stand for? Sweet Potato Queens of course!

Don't know what a Sweet Potato Queen is? All you need to know to start is that the SPQs are a whole lot of funny and little bit of naughty, so you should get to reading!

You can start out by visiting their website http://www.sweetpotatoqueens.com

There are several books by the Boss Queen, Jill Connor Browne, including:

SPQs' Book of Love *
God Save the SPQs *
SPQs Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love is either Married, Gay or Dead
SPQs' Big Ass Cookbook *
SPQs' Guide to Raising Children for Fun or Profit
SPQs' Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide (one side is wedding, flip it over the other side is divorce)
SPQs' First Big Ass Novel *
American Thighs: SPQs' guide to preserving your assets

I put an asterisk beside the one's that I have actually read (Lisa I need to get the marriage/divorce one from you). I just finished the First Big Ass Novel. I laughed myself silly yesterday reading out in the sun... got too engrossed it it to tell you the truth and now I have some sunburn patches from my uneven suntan lotion/sunscreen application (why do you always get a sunburn somewhere that your unmentionables are going to rub underneath your clothes?)

Anyway, I wanted to share some funny portions of the SPQ's Novel:

Share #1: ... "We should each bring something to eat at our meetings. I'm partial to anything fried."

"I'll do salty," Mary Bennett said, and then she pointed a finger at Patsy. "Don't you be coming 'round here with those smelly little fish, Swiss Miss. Now lemme think. We've got sweet, salty and fried. Why do I feel like an important food group is missing?"

"Au gratin" I said.

"Egg-zactly!" Mary Bennett said. "Patsy, that is perfect for you--you are now in charge of all cheese related foods."

"And I'll bring kosher, " Gerald said with a nod.

"I hope that's some kind of sausage, " Mary Bennet said.

"Kosher refers to Jewish dietary laws," Patsy explained. "That means Gerald can't eat anything with pork."

"Oh, hunny, " Mary Bennett said, patting his leg sympathetically. "You really ought to covert to Baptist. We don't allow drinkin' or dancin', be we sho'nuff do like to eat us some pig."

Share #2: Mary Bennett's dining room table groaned with so many casseroles it threatened to turn into a pile of splinters.

"I swear, is there anything better than funeral food?" I said scarfing my fifth deviled egg.

"Nope, " Gerald said as he put away his second hunk of Miss Mildred's famous banana upside-down cake. "Miss Mildred has outdone herself this time--this cake is KILLIN' ME."

"Too bad someone actually has to die for us to get it. Miss Mildred only bakes for funerals these days, " Patsy said. There was a smidgen of chicken salad on her upper lip.

"We should open a place called the Rest in Peace Restaurant and only serve funeral food," I said. "We'd make a fortune, is all I'm saying."

That second part might not be quite as funny if you aren't from a small southern town. My Dad and I have had similar conversations over the past couple of years. It really is the best eats you'll find anywhere and well, it is a shame that someone has to die to get it! Our funeral fav right now is a coconut pecan pie that this nice lady makes anytime someone related to my Mom's side of the family dies. It's FANTASTIC!

There are some other super funny more colorful portions, but you can read those for yourself! Run out right now (or use that mouse and credit card) and buy some SPQ right now!

2 comments:

Abby said...

This post cracks me up because my old boss an unmarried porshe driving bachelor type ran into these books (probably some girl friend was reading them) and he would admit (only under dire circumstances) to LOVING them. He thought they were hiliarious. I think I will have to buy me one. Is there one I need to start with?

Kara said...

I would say that you should start with the first one which I believe is SPQ's Book of Love. Then God Save the SPQ. I would also recommend the novel that I just read.

 

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