Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dear God,

Dear God, just for today, please make me a boy.
But tomorrow, please remember to turn me back into a girl...
because I like pink...and make-up....and I don't want to be a drag queen.
Thank you, Amen.

Today I needed to be a male. To be more specific, I needed a male brain. Things that men frequent, home improvement stores, male geared websites, etc. really make no sense to women no matter how hard we try.

First, I needed to get a new wheel for my 3 wheeled mower, so I got the model number and serial number off the mower and got online to Toro's website. It was a nightmare. At one point, Jennifer looked at my computer and noted that I had about 16 windows open because it was so darn complicated to figure out the part number I needed (you don't even want to know how complicated it was to then find a dealer!). This shouldn't be complicated. I clicked "Buy Part" and you think it would take you where you could buy a part online, right? Well apparently that is the female way of thinking because it didn't! It just took you to where you could make a list of the parts you need (why you need this I don't know. It said you could print it and take it to your dealer. I just used a post it, thank you.). I did finally get to the place where you could order online "Toro Store" which was two tabs over from "Buy Parts" (?????) but since I needed to mow my yard like tomorrow, and the fact that I've had it with my other mower, I forged on to locate a local dealer with parts for sale.

Finally, after a trip to Plano, I got a new wheel. I haven't even attempted to take the old broken part off the mower and replace it with the brand spankin' new wheel. I'm sure it will be complicated for my female brain, as I don't think for a minute it was built for us to deal with.

This evening I decided that I needed new filters for my poor overworked air conditioner, which means a trip to Lowes. I was wondering aimlessly around the store and finally found a worker to stop and ask where they were. I swear to you that he rolled his eyes, then let out a long sigh before saying, "They are all the way across the store in Plumbing. Aisle 35". It was all I could do not to yell, "PLUMBING!!! OF COURSE!!!!". What the heck?!?! Anyway after trekking back across the store, I'll have you know that I located them on Aisle 36, not Aisle 35. If you are going to be righteously indignant, you better be right, Mr. Eye-Roller!

Then I needed to look for weather stripping because this horrible heat has caused my weather stripping to, well, strip. It's falling off the door frame. After looking for a couple of minutes, I called uncle on this and just asked. I was told Aisle 17 by a much appreciated non-eye-rolling employee. I did located it on Aisle 17....with the ladders! I'm sure these stores make much sense to men, but I for the life of me cannot grasp their organization.


On another note, today is my cousin Maddie's 8th birthday. Madeline Marie will always be known by me and my friends as a "Bar Baby" because she was born smack dab in the middle of the H E Double Hockey sticks we lawyers remember as THE BAR EXAM. Unlike her sister Gracie, who I flew from Lubbock to Dallas to see the day after she was born, I didn't get to see Maddie until August because she was born during the last month of crunch time. Maddie is quite a special little person. She is smart as a whip and much to the dismay of her parents, very strong willed. She is a great little artist and she loves frogs, snakes and lizards.

And God bless her, unlike her horribly misguided sister Gracie (who wished to be a Longhorn), Maddie wants to be a Red Raider!!!
Below is a semi-crappy iphone photo of Maddie that her dad just sent to me. She is holding one of her gifts that I sent her, a frog, that looks just like one she wants (bright green with demonic red eyes). You know I love this kid if I bought her a frog!
(She is looking a little water-logged here because she's been swimming all day)


The Ffrench's said...

I can't believe Maddie is 8....damn I am old :)

Emilymud said...

And here I ask you the question of....Well did you at least take Lola with you to Lowes. You know they, Home Depot, and of course the pet stores are the only DOG friendly places. We take our little guy anytime we go...I hope she to got to join in on the eye rolling hateful man!

Good luck on he wheel...

Ann said...

I hear you on the home improvent stores!! I was in Home Depot the other day and had to call my Dad three times. By the last conversation, I didn't know why I just didn't ask him to go with me.

Melissa said...

I will let you know about the paint color after ask my husband what color it is. I think it is a chocolate brown, but I will get the exact name for you. Best of Luck today and thanks for stopping by my blog!


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