"Let's just take a look", I said. My law partner (then roommate) and I were at the local Trade Days. We were buying some metal planters for the porch, and I thought we should just walk down the "puppy aisle" and see the puppies for sale. I had no intention of buying a puppy, and certainly I had never bought a puppy at a place like that. Then I came up to a booth of white miniature schnauzers. They weighed about 2-3 lbs each and were in an aquarium. An aquarium!
"Ooh! I'm going to pet those puppies!", I exclaimed. "Don't pet the puppies!", Jennifer wisely said. But I did, and there was one that was 90% ears and paws. She was tossing paper and just generally full of spunk. I talked to the vendor about the puppies, and then we left. We got the planters and left the trade days. We went to Walmart next, for what, who can even remember. But I do recall walking down the aisles at Walmart and saying, "I need to go back and get that puppy". And so I did. I thought I was going to call her Nola, but ultimately decided she was really a Lola.
The next day I drove up to my parents house so they could meet their new granddog. My Dad was still putting in sprinklers at the time, so I took her over to his job site to meet Lola and then I went to get lunch for the crew. I left Lola in the car with my Mom when I ran their lunch around to the back of the house, and you could hear that 3 lb. pup screaming the whole time. She was already my shadow and didn't want to lose sight of me. She rarely was separated from me, unless I was on vacation, and even then I FaceTimed her. I mean, I FaceTimed my dog from more countries than I can count and even from the grounds of Wimbledon!
She gave me a lot of scares over the years and her life was probably a bit of a miracle. She got Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis (HGE) when she was 1 year old. She had to spend a couple of days at the hospital for that. Then when she was 4, almost 5, she came down with a terrible case of Pancreatitis at Christmas. The day after I had to take her to my parents local vet, and then they sent me on to a vet in Wichita Falls. She spent about a week in the hospital there. It was very touch and go, but finally she pulled through, and through that fiasco we found Lola's lifelong devoted vet. For the rest of her life, I would drive her 5 hours roundtrip just to see him and know I was getting her the best of care. She was on a strict diet of prescription dog food only. No treats. Nothing else. There were certain medications she couldn't take. All of this kept her pancreas working without any flare ups over the years. The vet always thought she would develop diabetes, but she never did.
Shortly after her pancreas healed she had bladder stones removed, but then we rocked along without any health problems for a while. Well there was the one time that she chased after something in the dark yard, and almost poked her eye out on a metal chaise lounger. That was a scary 11:00 p.m. run to the emergency vet, but no long term damage.
A couple of years ago she got that mystery face swelling. We did biopsies, CT scans, saw specialist, you name it. Nobody could ever figure out a diagnosis or treatment. I asked "is she a medical mystery" and was told "yes, she is". I would give her pain meds and antibiotics when it would flare up, but even that had become only a once a year occurrence.
She went in for her annual exam in March. She got a good report and the vet said for a 15 year old girl, she was doing great. I asked if he remembered that when I brought her in at 4 years of age, he told me "She may not have a very long life, but we will make sure we give her a good life". He said yes, he recalled, but he didn't know I was going to be such an extreme puppy mom who monitored her so closely.
All of that makes it seem like she was a lot of worry, and she was, but don't all kids make their parents worry? She was mostly joy. Just pure joy. She talked like no other dog I've ever known. I don't mean bark, because she did plenty of that too, but I mean talk. There was such inflection and animation in her voice. You knew she had opinions about things! She also loved her toys. I would have a massive amount of toys scattered all over my house, all of the time, and she knew the names to most all of them. But there was a pink elephant that she got the first few days I had her (and we eventually purchased several of them until they stopped making them) named Ellie. Ellie was the favorite for all of her 15 years. She never slept a night without Ellie, not even when she was hospitalized.
When she was younger she didn't like kids, but over the years she started to like them. And they liked her. The kids down the street love to pet her and a couple of months ago one of them yelled over to his friend "You have to come pet this dog. Her name is Lola and she is the nicest dog in the world."
Signs of aging were there. She lost most of her hearing a couple of years ago, and she would sleep a lot more, but she still bounced like a rabbit across the yard every morning, and wouldn't let you think about skipping her daily walk. Normally I would take her for a walk first, and then go on my walk, but if she was still asleep, I would sneak out for my walk first. That's what happened on Sunday morning. She was still snoozing so I went for my walk first. When I came in, she was sitting up in her kennel waiting for me. I let her out, and she made a dash to where her harness and leash were. I put it on, and we were ready to head out. As I opened the front door, a golden retriever walked by, and she let him know that he wasn't welcome on her street. We walked to the house next door and then crossed the street as we did by rote. As we got up to the other side, she kind of skidded and fell. There is a little curb there and I thought she had just misstepped. Then she fell over, and I went to help her up, but realized something really bad was wrong. I picked her up and carried her home, but I don't think she was alive even at that point. I think she died within 5 seconds of falling over. I tried CPR once we got home, but it was clear that wasn't going to help.
The suddenness was just so shocking. I really think I was in shock for most of the day. I am thankful that she died happy and doing her favorite thing. I mean who doesn't want to go out like that? I'm also thankful she wasn't in such bad shape that I had to make the choice to put her to sleep, because I've done that before and it's terrible too. There really is just no good way to lose your beloved companion, so I guess this was the best on all fronts. I'm sure people think "she was 15, how could you not have been prepared?", but honestly if she had been 30, I would have been praying for another 5 years. That's what I had been doing after all. When she turned 5, I prayed "please let her live to be 10", and when she turned 10 I prayed, "please let her live to be 15", and yes, when she turned 15 in February, I prayed "please let her live to be 20". But that wasn't meant to be.
Of course I've relived her death a million times in my mind over the past few days. I've regretted going for my walk first because when she went first she was a super pest while I tried to put on my shoes, but that was also a time I would love and kiss on her every morning. I didn't get the chance to love on her like that since she was so determined to go on her walk when I got home from mine. I never imagined she wasn't coming back from that walk for me to love on her later.
I took her to be cremated. A friend drove me, so I was able to kissed Lola's sweet head the whole way there. I don't know that I've ever mentioned, but Lola was the softest dog you will ever find. I cut a lock of her hair that I now keep in my Herend Queen Victoria box so that I won't ever forget how soft she was. I already got her ashes back. They are on the bookcase by my bed with her pink Ellie sitting next to her. There is another Ellie that I've been smelling, but only 4 days later, it's already losing it's Lola smell and it breaks my heart every time I smell it and it I know it's not going to last much longer.
It is amazing how much of a presence a 15 lb dog can be. Nobody greets when when I come home. Nobody is excited when I go to get ice in my glass. Nobody snores loudly while I work, or lays on my feet while I read at night. It's unbearable how quiet and lonely my house is.
In Hamilton, Alexander tells Eliza she is "the best of wives and best of women", well Lola was the "best of dogs and best of friends", and now I'm trying to adjust to the "quiet uptown"...
"Ooh! I'm going to pet those puppies!", I exclaimed. "Don't pet the puppies!", Jennifer wisely said. But I did, and there was one that was 90% ears and paws. She was tossing paper and just generally full of spunk. I talked to the vendor about the puppies, and then we left. We got the planters and left the trade days. We went to Walmart next, for what, who can even remember. But I do recall walking down the aisles at Walmart and saying, "I need to go back and get that puppy". And so I did. I thought I was going to call her Nola, but ultimately decided she was really a Lola.
The next day I drove up to my parents house so they could meet their new granddog. My Dad was still putting in sprinklers at the time, so I took her over to his job site to meet Lola and then I went to get lunch for the crew. I left Lola in the car with my Mom when I ran their lunch around to the back of the house, and you could hear that 3 lb. pup screaming the whole time. She was already my shadow and didn't want to lose sight of me. She rarely was separated from me, unless I was on vacation, and even then I FaceTimed her. I mean, I FaceTimed my dog from more countries than I can count and even from the grounds of Wimbledon!
She gave me a lot of scares over the years and her life was probably a bit of a miracle. She got Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis (HGE) when she was 1 year old. She had to spend a couple of days at the hospital for that. Then when she was 4, almost 5, she came down with a terrible case of Pancreatitis at Christmas. The day after I had to take her to my parents local vet, and then they sent me on to a vet in Wichita Falls. She spent about a week in the hospital there. It was very touch and go, but finally she pulled through, and through that fiasco we found Lola's lifelong devoted vet. For the rest of her life, I would drive her 5 hours roundtrip just to see him and know I was getting her the best of care. She was on a strict diet of prescription dog food only. No treats. Nothing else. There were certain medications she couldn't take. All of this kept her pancreas working without any flare ups over the years. The vet always thought she would develop diabetes, but she never did.
Shortly after her pancreas healed she had bladder stones removed, but then we rocked along without any health problems for a while. Well there was the one time that she chased after something in the dark yard, and almost poked her eye out on a metal chaise lounger. That was a scary 11:00 p.m. run to the emergency vet, but no long term damage.
A couple of years ago she got that mystery face swelling. We did biopsies, CT scans, saw specialist, you name it. Nobody could ever figure out a diagnosis or treatment. I asked "is she a medical mystery" and was told "yes, she is". I would give her pain meds and antibiotics when it would flare up, but even that had become only a once a year occurrence.
She went in for her annual exam in March. She got a good report and the vet said for a 15 year old girl, she was doing great. I asked if he remembered that when I brought her in at 4 years of age, he told me "She may not have a very long life, but we will make sure we give her a good life". He said yes, he recalled, but he didn't know I was going to be such an extreme puppy mom who monitored her so closely.
All of that makes it seem like she was a lot of worry, and she was, but don't all kids make their parents worry? She was mostly joy. Just pure joy. She talked like no other dog I've ever known. I don't mean bark, because she did plenty of that too, but I mean talk. There was such inflection and animation in her voice. You knew she had opinions about things! She also loved her toys. I would have a massive amount of toys scattered all over my house, all of the time, and she knew the names to most all of them. But there was a pink elephant that she got the first few days I had her (and we eventually purchased several of them until they stopped making them) named Ellie. Ellie was the favorite for all of her 15 years. She never slept a night without Ellie, not even when she was hospitalized.
When she was younger she didn't like kids, but over the years she started to like them. And they liked her. The kids down the street love to pet her and a couple of months ago one of them yelled over to his friend "You have to come pet this dog. Her name is Lola and she is the nicest dog in the world."
Signs of aging were there. She lost most of her hearing a couple of years ago, and she would sleep a lot more, but she still bounced like a rabbit across the yard every morning, and wouldn't let you think about skipping her daily walk. Normally I would take her for a walk first, and then go on my walk, but if she was still asleep, I would sneak out for my walk first. That's what happened on Sunday morning. She was still snoozing so I went for my walk first. When I came in, she was sitting up in her kennel waiting for me. I let her out, and she made a dash to where her harness and leash were. I put it on, and we were ready to head out. As I opened the front door, a golden retriever walked by, and she let him know that he wasn't welcome on her street. We walked to the house next door and then crossed the street as we did by rote. As we got up to the other side, she kind of skidded and fell. There is a little curb there and I thought she had just misstepped. Then she fell over, and I went to help her up, but realized something really bad was wrong. I picked her up and carried her home, but I don't think she was alive even at that point. I think she died within 5 seconds of falling over. I tried CPR once we got home, but it was clear that wasn't going to help.
The suddenness was just so shocking. I really think I was in shock for most of the day. I am thankful that she died happy and doing her favorite thing. I mean who doesn't want to go out like that? I'm also thankful she wasn't in such bad shape that I had to make the choice to put her to sleep, because I've done that before and it's terrible too. There really is just no good way to lose your beloved companion, so I guess this was the best on all fronts. I'm sure people think "she was 15, how could you not have been prepared?", but honestly if she had been 30, I would have been praying for another 5 years. That's what I had been doing after all. When she turned 5, I prayed "please let her live to be 10", and when she turned 10 I prayed, "please let her live to be 15", and yes, when she turned 15 in February, I prayed "please let her live to be 20". But that wasn't meant to be.
Of course I've relived her death a million times in my mind over the past few days. I've regretted going for my walk first because when she went first she was a super pest while I tried to put on my shoes, but that was also a time I would love and kiss on her every morning. I didn't get the chance to love on her like that since she was so determined to go on her walk when I got home from mine. I never imagined she wasn't coming back from that walk for me to love on her later.
I took her to be cremated. A friend drove me, so I was able to kissed Lola's sweet head the whole way there. I don't know that I've ever mentioned, but Lola was the softest dog you will ever find. I cut a lock of her hair that I now keep in my Herend Queen Victoria box so that I won't ever forget how soft she was. I already got her ashes back. They are on the bookcase by my bed with her pink Ellie sitting next to her. There is another Ellie that I've been smelling, but only 4 days later, it's already losing it's Lola smell and it breaks my heart every time I smell it and it I know it's not going to last much longer.
It is amazing how much of a presence a 15 lb dog can be. Nobody greets when when I come home. Nobody is excited when I go to get ice in my glass. Nobody snores loudly while I work, or lays on my feet while I read at night. It's unbearable how quiet and lonely my house is.
In Hamilton, Alexander tells Eliza she is "the best of wives and best of women", well Lola was the "best of dogs and best of friends", and now I'm trying to adjust to the "quiet uptown"...
Comments
Refused to get another dog which was a mistake.
My heart is with you. Kat